the next right thing

Instead of being concerned with everything, just do the next right thing. (Thanks, David and Nicole Hannah.)

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

"The Lord is my portion," says my soul,

"therefore I will hope in him."

The Lord is good to those who wait for him,

to the soul who seeks him.

Lamentations 3:22-25

I am a dumb Israelite.

Well, it has been 15 months since my last post! So much has happened, but I've decided to start up again for myself and whoever is "following" me. (Please join my "followers" so I can "follow" you too!!)

It's comical really that my last major post was about trusting in the Lord's goodness because many major life events later I am still learning that lesson! After a week of procrastinating (euphemism for being scared) from turning on my computer and getting to work on getting my post-graduation and, more significantly, my post-Italy life in order, I (sadly?) find myself in the same position of needing to remind myself to trust the Lord.

In the last week I've finished a couple of books and bible studies that lingered beyond my six-week Bologna syllabus (thanks, Fatima), so today I returned to my Bible reading plan where I left off in the middle of 1 Samuel. Like a sucker punch to the face it hit me (again): I am a dumb Israelite.

Cue the scene just after Saul has been chosen as king (despite his hiding in the luggage in 10:22 - definitely resonates with me) and promptly defeats the Ammonites (despite "some worthless fellows" questioning God's choice in 10:27 - oops, this is me too). How many times do the Israelites need to be reminded of God's sovereignty?! They wept at the thought of their right eyes being gouged out by their enemy and Saul had to threaten them with killing all of their oxen to join him in battle because they didn't trust the Lord.

One of the things I learned in Italy was that God is faithful to provide whatever I need. I can trust Him because He has promised to provide and I only have evidence to support his faithfulness in the past; therefore, I can trust Him to graciously provide for me in the future. I left Italy confident that I could go home and trust God to provide a city for me to move to, a job, a place to live, a church, new friends, everything. Yet, right away I started to feel overwhelmed! And it took me a whole week to summon the courage to just turn on my computer! Good grief!

The story continues... After the silly, doubting, chicken Israelites were shown that Saul was a capable king (and exactly what they had asked for), they tell Samuel to kill all the men who doubted... and this is my favorite part: 11:13 says, "But Saul said, 'Not a man shall be put to death this day, for today the Lord has worked salvation in Israel.'"

The Spirit had surely filled Saul. He "held his peace" when the "worthless fellows" questioned him (10:27) and when they all wept, assuming defeat (10:3-6). He wrangled up an army of cowards to defeat the enemy (10:7-11), and then he had grace with them and pursued renewing the kingdom instead of punishing them as they deserved (10:12-15). Isn't that a glimpse of how God is with us? Those wayward Israelites were saved, once again. God saved me from anxiety and doubt, again, today.

As Samuel bids them farewell, he begs them to "stand still" and listen as he recounts God's grace and patience with the Israelites through their history. (And I recount that God saw me through architecture school, several break ups, Seattle, Italy...) Then Samuel says:

12:13"And now behold the king whom you have chosen, for whom you have asked; behold, the Lord has set a king over you. 14If you will fear the Lord and serve him and obey his voice and not rebel against the commandment of the Lord, and if both you and the king who reigns over you will follow the Lord your God, it will be well. 15But if you will not obey the voice of the Lord, but rebel against the commandment of the Lord, then the hand of the Lord will be against you and your King. 16Now therefore stand still and see this great thing that the Lord will do before your eyes... (and Samuel calls upon the Lord to send down thunder and rain... and the Lord does because He is merciful enough to prove himself to us. And then the people fear death for their evildoing, but...) 20And Samuel said to the people, "Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil. Yet do not turn aside from following the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart. 21And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. 22For the Lord will not forsake his people, for his great name's sake, because it has pleased the Lord to make you a people for himself. 23Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way. 24Only fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you.

God is gracious with us. He takes pleasure in being gracious with us. All He asks is for us to love Him with all of our heart, to trust Him. The story in 1 Samuel 10-12 isn't the first (or the last time) the Israelites forgot to trust the Lord, nor was this week my first or last. God will graciously provide for me in the coming months, even though I'm as crazy as an Israelite, because He loves me.

his glory, our good

Hello! I'm finally waking from my winter hibernation of no blogging... and this one is a doosey (spelling?!) for my heart.

After a three and a half day trek across the US with my dad (great conversations...) I started an internship at the MillerHull Partnership in Seattle. I am loving the city, the firm, and my roommate (totally blessed), but I have been feeling sad underneath everything I should be thankful for. A lot of the sadness is natural - I miss my awesome family (including our new puppy Abby), my wonderful boyfriend, my amazing friends and church and school back in Austin, and just how my life used to be. A big move is stressful and the adjustment to pacific time, working full time, and NO NATURAL LIGHT IN MY ROOM (I'm very upset about this) is rough! And after spending a lovely 8 whole days with Chase and his parents in the beautiful New Mexico mountains/Lindale/West Texas last week, I felt even more sad. I kept thinking, "What's wrong with me?! I'm supposed to be loving this adventure in a new city with new friends and new everything! How can I be sad?!" (Side note - my new friends are great and I am so thankful for them. Shoutout to Anne Marie and Hailey and Heather and Ali and Alex (and John and Tyler too)!!)

Well, I've learned that I'm impatient with life change. It actually takes a long time to adjust - and it's okay to miss my old things. (Thankfully this internship is only a few months and I get to go back to Austin/UT/Alyssa and the Gables.) I've also learned that I'm much more of a caretaker/nurturer/mother than I realized. I always take on that role - at home with my family, with all my roommates, obviously with all the kids I nannied and taught, even in studio - and no one needs me to take care of them here!

**Most importantly (I'm finally getting to the point), I re-learned today (after a lot of encouragement from Chase and Christine - thank you!!) that I can trust that God is working all things for his glory and my good because he promised he would!**

Here are a few passages that I feel drive home God's promise to glorify himself and provide for us, his beloved children:

1. Psalm 103:2-5
"Praise the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits -
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

I have to love this God! Praise his name!

2. Hebrews 12:10-11 (speaking of hardship as discipline) "Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they though best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

The promise and the peace... his glory and our good. Amazing.

3. Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

This includes when a) I don't agree, b) I didn't plan it that way, and c) I forget this promise. (Theme: God knows better than I)

4. Genesis 50:19-21 (when Joseph's brothers come to beg for food after they threw him in the pit and sold him off as a slave) "But Joseph said to them, 'Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.' And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

Wow. First, Joseph is a stud. Second, God is so great! He works all things to bring himself glory, bring more souls to himself, and doesn't ever forget to provide for his children - even after we do terrible things!

5. Exodus 14:4 (After God proves how powerful he is over ten times (the plagues) and rescues his people from Pharaoh by parting a sea... and the people still don't believe how great God is at looking out for them when he asks them to turn back, God says:) "'And I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and he will pursue them. But I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord.' So the Israelites did this."

We can be pretty dense, but God never stops pursuing us. Thank God!


"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

psalm 42

For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah.

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

revival!

Recently I have been burdened by all of the pain and disillusionment around me. I can rationalize all of it, chalking it up to the poor economy or the overwhelming nature of the phase of life that so many of my friends and I are in, but those are merely symptoms. The root of our disillusionment is that we have pulled ourselves away from the life water of the Lord Almighty.

Brace yourself for a long post, but I would really like to share a scriptural journey I went on this morning. I pray that it breathes as much vitality and peace into you as it did for me.

My small group is beginning a study of Psalms. As fitting for any study, we started at the beginning with Psalm 1 this week. In it, David lays out the simple distinction between a blessed (righteous) man and a wicked man:

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by the streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

To compare, we looked at Jeremiah 17:5-8 which also outlines the distinction between the blessed and wicked:

This is what the Lord says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

I feel convicted for falling into the wicked half of the t-chart in so many parts of my life. We are literally experiencing a drought in Texas and so often this summer I became fussy and even fearful over the heat and lack of rain. What is happening in the tangible world reflects the state of the spiritual realm. God is not kidding when he speaks these words to us in the scriptures!

Trying not to become even more discouraged, I turned back to Jeremiah 1 as I remembered the entire book being about the fall and redemption of God's chosen Israel. I wanted to remember the depth from which the Lord mercifully restored Israel. I wanted to remember what kept him from destroying his beloved people completely, since that is what they deserved.

This is what the Lord says:
"What fault did your fathers find in me,
that they strayed so far from me?
They followed worthless idols
and became worthless themselves...

I brought you into fertile land
to eat its fruit and rich produce.
But you came and defiled my land
and made my inheritance detestable...

My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
broken cisterns that cannot hold water...

Your wickedness will punish you;
your backsliding will rebuke you.
Consider then and realize
how evil and bitter it is for you
when you forsake the Lord your God
and have no awe of me,"
declares the Lord, the Lord Almighty.

Jeremiah 2

So, the Israelites got things pretty messed up. We have it all pretty messed up too! Thankfully, the Lord is compassionate. He is wrathful and just, but he also keeps his promises:

This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosterity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." Yes, this is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them," declares the Lord.

This is what the Lord says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and i will bring you back from captivity..."

Jeremiah 29:4-14

God is sovereign! He puts in places for us to grow, to learn to rely on Him. He only has good plans for us, yet we so easily believe otherwise. We can have joy and peace in simply living wherever we find ourselves because we can know that God's hand is in it.

In the next chapter of Jeremiah, the time comes for God to restore his people to the land he gave their forefathers. He warns and comforts them, "It will be a time of trouble for Jacob, but he will be saved out of it... So do not fear, O Jacob my servant, do not be dismayed O Israel... I will not completely destroy you. I will discipline you but only with justice; I will not let you go entirely unpunished... Your wound is incurable, your injury beyond healing... But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds." (Jeremiah 30)

Is that incredible or what? This is what I cannot understand about God and what moves me to worship: we are beyond repair in our sinfulness, we should be completely destroyed, but in His perfect wrath, His perfect justice, His perfect love, He choses to restore us. Why? Because it will glorify Him. He says:

"So you will be my people,
and I will be your God."

Jeremiah 30:22

He continues:

"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with lovingkindness.
I will build you up again
and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.
Again you will take up your tambourines
and go out to dance with the joyful...

I will lead them beside streams of water
on a level path where they will not stumble,
because I am Israel's father...

I will put my law in their minds
and write it on their hearts.
I will be their God,
and they will be my people.
No longer will a man teach his neighbor,
or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,'
because they will all know me,
from the least of them to the greatest,"
declares the Lord.

"For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more."

Incredible! He will remember our sins no more. We will be restored to virginity! This is the love of God. This is the power of God. Why do we prostitute ourselves to other things? Why do we settle for less than the Lord Almighty?

We should be moved to repentance, being a 180 degree turn from our selfish ways to those of our gracious Lord. We should be moved to gratitude and thanksgiving, saying: "Give thanks to the Lord Almighty, for the Lord is good; his love endures forever." (Jeremiah 33:11) We should have great relief! We were not made to live without God! He is glorified by our desperate, daily need for Him!

I realize that this redemption story in Jeremiah concerns the Jews, but I'd like to share with you the finale of my journey: the Gospel, as presented by Paul in Acts 13, which is for the Jews and the Gentiles: (I promise this book of a blog post is wrapping up!)

On the Sabbath they entered the synagogue and sat down. After the reading from the Law and the Prophets, the synagogue rulers sent word to them, saying, "Brothers, if you have a message of encouragement for the people, please speak."

Standing up, Paul motioned with his hand and said: "Men of Israel and you Gentiles who worship God, listen to me! The God of the people of Israel chose our fathers; he made the people prosper during their stay in Egypt, with mighty power he led them out of that country, he endured their conduct for about forty years in the desert, he overthrew seven nations in Canaan and gave their land to his people as their inheritance. All this took 450 years.

"After this, God gave them judges until the time of Samuel the prophet. Then the people asked for a king, and he gave them Saul son of Kish, of the tribe of Benjamin, who ruled forty years. After removing Saul, he made David their king. He testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.'

"From this man's descendants God has brough to Israel the Savior Jesus, as he promised. Before the coming of Jesus, John preached repentance and baptism to all the people of Israel. As John was completing his work, he said: 'Who do you think I am? I am not that one. No, but he is coming after me, whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.'

"Brothers, children of Abraham, and you God-fearing Gentiles, it is to us that this message of salvation has been sent. The people of Jerusalem and their rulers did not recognize Jesus, yet in condemning him they fulfilled the words of the prophets that are read every Sabbath. Though they found no proper ground for a death sentence, they asked Pilate to have him executed. When they had carried out all that was written about him, they took him down from the tree and laid him in a tomb. But God raised him from the dead, and for many days he was seen by those who had traveled with him from Galilee to Jerusalem. They are now his witnesses to our people.

"We tell you the good news: What God promised our fathers he has fulfilled for us, their children, by raising up Jesus. As it is written in the second Psalm:

'You are my Son;
today I have become your Father.' (Psalm 2:7)

The fact that God raised him from the dead, never to decay, is stated in these words:

'I will give you the holy and sure blessings promised to David.' (Isaiah 55:3)

So it is stated elsewhere:

'You will not let your Holy One see decay.' (Psalm 16:10)

"For when David had served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his fathers and his body decayed. But the one whom God raised from the dead did not see decay.

"Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is justified from everything you could be justified from by the law of Moses. Take care that what the prophets have said does not happen to you:

'Look, you scoffers,
wonder and perish,
for I am going to do something in your days
that you would never believe,
even if someone told you.' (Habakkuk 1:5)

People, these words are truth! These words can transform us! We don't have to be slaves to our sin and to this world; we can live in the light of the one who saved us! This should ignite revival among us today as it did for the people in Acts. Jesus Christ has freed us from the trappings of disillusionment and fear. Now we can be the people God made us to be, not by our own strength or for our own shallow betterment, but because God enables us and is glorified by it! Even through we will go through hard seasons, the Lord is sovereign and is in it with us. We must be patient - Israel's restoration took over 450 years! Let's go in peace!

flighty, fickle, fleshy people

Oswald Chambers (1874-1917), who is best known for his daily devotional My Utmost for His Highest, abandoned his art and archaeology degree to obey a calling to ministry. Once in seminary he found it unsatisfying and the Bible dull, so he traveled, married, and finally came back around to founding a Bible college in London. Only four years later, he followed a calling to the war and was placed as YMCA chaplain in Egypt. Here he was not killed in the Battle of Gallipoli, but almost a year later at the age of 43 of a ruptured appendix!

This renowned author only wrote one book himself, Baffled to Fight Better: Job and the Problem of Suffering. His wife “Biddy” (Gertrude Hobbs), who Chambers married while seemingly running away from his calling to ministry, was a stenographer and recorded his lessons verbatim. She spent the rest of her life compiling her records to publish the bulk of the work that bears her husband’s name.

God blows my mind! He uses flighty, fickle, fleshy people to accomplish his work and it amazes me every time I think about it. Just like with Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Job, Daniel, Moses, Jonah, Samuel and David, God accomplishes his will in spite of our shortcomings. Literally, thank God!